I can’t help but feel like something of an imposter writing here. There is a certain irony in writing a spanking blog and not yet having been spanked. What if when it happens I don’t like it? (I know, I’m not supposed to, but you know. . .) While I’ve had these yearnings for so long that I don’t think I need to worry about this changing, it still begs the question-
When does one become a submissive?
I’ve known that I am a submissive since before I was familiar with the word itself. I am not yet sure exactly what what aspects of the general concept apply to me, but I want to find out. I am trying to understand myself not only as an individual but in how I relate to this culture and this community.
But is there some event- some initiation into this club? When does the switch flip from “curious” to “submissive?” It is tempting to say the first relationship, the first discussion, the first spanking. While there is no doubt validity to these milestones, I’m not sure that passing them will make me a submissive any more than my degree makes me a scientist. The steps are important, but they are not the path.
And I’ve never been all that great at doing the steps in order, so there’s no sense in waiting to be spanked before writing about it.
Acknowledging Imperfection 
What are your prospects (of getting spanked)?
Thanks for the question. The brief comment-sized answer is nothing much. There is a longer explanation, of course 🙂
I’m not at a stage where I’d feel comfortable casually playing with this interest, so although I know there are groups in my area I don’t think that’s an option for me. It’s not just the sensations of a spanking that I crave- it’s the whole mentality around the disciplinary process. In order to experience this, I’ll need to form a very close and trusting relationship before anything physical happens.
I’m also on the cusp of a potential significant geographic move, so I’m not sure it makes sense to start investing in that kind of relationship in my current area. I considered waiting to start a blog until I had settled down somewhere and could start looking more seriously, but decided otherwise for several reasons. First, although I may eventually meet a partner through the internet, I’ve also already met several other close friends. I imagine I’ll meet several more if I stay active here. As I doubt I’ll ever meet many of these people in person anyway, moving wouldn’t impact those relationships. Second, the move has been delayed several times, and as it is largely out of my control it seems silly to let this stop me from starting to write and share my thoughts. Third, as I already mentioned, I’m not very good at doing things in an order that makes sense 🙂
The truly amazing thing about a fetish or a fantasy is the realization of it; that is the experience we take from it, good or bad has little effect on the maintenance of the said fantasy. I have had lots of experiences *experimenting* in my life and have still kept the [my] desire for spanking and discipline even though there have been less than fulfilling outcomes and the *thrill* has fallen quite short of what I imagined.