Quitting

I quit my vanilla writing group today. I had tried, honestly tried, to learn, to write, to develop, to debate, to fit in.  It was not a good fit, and, worse, was sapping time and energy I’ve come to realise would be better spent here.

 

After weeks of agonising over the decision, days of composing the resignation in my head, I wound up pecking out a hurried email on my phone, from bed, still in the process of waking up.

 

Perhaps it’s better to do these things only semi-conscious. When the full impact of the action won’t quite sink in- or, perhaps, when we realise that it doesn’t truly matter. When we know, fullly, that the correct decision has been made.

 

It occurs to me that I started this blog in more or less the same state. Pondered the decision forever, but when it came down to the actual writing of the first bit, it was done quickly. Instinctively.  

 

That worked out ok, too.  

 

In both cases, though, I can’t help but feel that I’ve slipped one more step into the darkness.  But that’s where all the fun and passion and adventure lurks.  

 

Thank you for joining me.

4 thoughts on “Quitting

    1. Thanks- I’ll likely need it, knowing the sort of trouble I get into. Incidentally, between when this was written and published here, I’ve had a few unexpectedly deep conversations with the leader of the vanilla group, in which I’d revealed a bit more about what it was exactly that I planned on writing on my own.

      After months of superficial conversations, this was incredibly refreshing. It’s shocking and inspiring how much a few minutes of open and honest discussion can change one’s view of a person. Also, this more than reinforced the decision that quitting was the right thing to do. I need this not-for-public-consumption element for my writing to have meaning and soul- at least for now.

      1. First let me say that I always enjoyed your insight into the DD life and even more the various stories on your blog. I think that you write quite well. A good spanking or fetish story is really just a story with that aspect thrown in. I read all sorts of ‘vanilla’ romances and since I’m old enough to have grown up with spanking in the movies, both westerns and modern life, I appreciate the dominant male/consensual (or at least accepting) submissive female a la John Wayne’s Quiet Man, McClintock, and Donovan’s Reef. Even Roger Moore in a ‘Saint’ episode. Most mainstream romances get to the point where, those of our inclinations are thinking ‘just spank her and then kiss her’. Of course then those stories would be a lot shorter.

        So is the problem with your ‘vanilla’ writing mechanics or plotting? I’ve never been very good at research and plotting; I don’t know if that’s from lack of creativity or just laziness. I have a BA in English from back when you had to learn to get one and probably should have been an Editor but family needs dictated I keep a good paying job for 40 years.

        Now I volunteer to edit people’s works, both spanking and vanilla and have several ‘clients’. I say ‘clients’ but I do it for free even though I really should do it for some sort of financial gain in my ‘dotage’. If mechanics is your problem let me know.

      2. Sorry for the delay in replying- has been on my to-do list forever.

        Thank you for your offer to help with the editing- I will keep that in mind.

        Unfortunately, mechanics is not my problem, nor is inspiration. Plotting somewhat- I tend to think and write in instalments. Works well in this genre, but makes longer works challenging. That said, I have a few longer stories in the works- the main issue now is the time and focus to write them fully.

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