I saw a crash on the quays last week. Busy dodging fellow pedestrians as I headed to the bus stop at the height of Christmas shopping season, I almost failed to notice the surprisingly soft crunch of well-designed crumple zones doing their job. It’s shocking how much damage can occur with so little noise. I’m no assessor, but I can confidently say that neither vehicle will drive again.

As the uninjured drivers emerged to deal with the aftermath, I ducked into a shop for another bottle of water and a more substantial snack, figuring that between diversions and gawkers that it would be rather longer than anticipated before my bus could reach the stop and then get past that mess.

Yet, somehow, traffic still worked, gently nudging past in the just-wide enough gap between wreck and footpath. The tailback never even extended beyond the next set of traffic lights.

And life went on, largely uninterrupted.


2018 has felt like an series of crashes, in both kink and vanilla circles. Though some habits (notably writing) have ground to a halt due to the the near constant crisis management, day to day life has gone on. I’ve a new appreciation for the importance of a support network. Thank you to all who have checked in with me (and even to those who continued to link here during the quiet period). I am immensely grateful for the friends who helped me through the challenges of the past year, limiting the noise and impact of each wobble.

I also count myself lucky that none of my friendships have suffered permanent damage, with the exception of one dear friend no longer with us. The rest, despite all that has happened, have been patient, positive, and willing to continue to stick with me through this crazy ride- along with a few treasured additions. Serious discussions of sensitive topics can make or break a relationship, and I am moved by how many friends were willing to talk constructively, as well as those who accepted that I wasn’t in the mood for heavy talk and proceeded to help me enjoy my limited downtime. Giggles make for great stress relief!

I hope to one day tell some of the stories of this past year (there are some good ones!)- though it will take time to relate matters in a coherent manner, and to obtain consent to share from those involved.

In the meantime, life goes on, bringing more, different, and hopefully happier stories. And of course there is always fiction- something I plan to get back into (has it really been over a year since I last wrote?!?!).


9 thoughts on “2018

  1. Good luck with getting back to regular writing. I miss reading it. You have a great talent.
    Good luck in all things for 2019.

  2. Kia, my experience in life is that it is only a series of crashes. You’re going along smoothly, all is well and then… wham! It’s not the crashes that matter, it’s what you do with them and how you get on with the rest of your journey. Very best wishes for 2019

  3. Hopefully 2020 will be better for you. Good luck.
    Learn from those bad times and come back stronger.

    1. Thank you for the lovely comments πŸ™‚ Things have improved greatly! Still quite busy though, and updates here keep slipping to the bottom of the to do list :/

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