Over the last few months, I’ve noticed changes in myself, in how I feel, how I act, how I budget my time. My lifestyle has changed because of my exploration of my submission. “The lifestyle” tends to have connotations of a highly structured domestic life, of whips and chains, demanding masters and kneeling slaves. This is the case for some, but not for me; not now. My submissive lifestyle is quite different.
It is a lot of time spent on trains, visiting friends new and old scattered across the country.
It is the panic when my parents visit; I did remember to remove the implement bag from the spare room, didn’t I?
It is getting over my phone-call-phobia. It is investing in a better phone plan, and finding the time for chats.
It is developing the habit of leaving work at a reasonable hour; these are not phone calls one takes at one’s desk.
It is an avoidance of small talk. “What did you do this weekend?” is no longer a question that can be answered lightly.
It is late-night buses home from the city, nights of little sleep that are nevertheless more rejuvenating than quiet evenings at home.
It is a feeling of general happiness. Contentment. Connection.
And yes, a few bruises as well.