There once was a bright brass school bell
Whose clang could raise demons from hell.
At the sound of its chime
Classes started on time
On late students no others would tell.
But one day a bright student thought
And prayed that she would not get get caught
With a glance to the side
That bell she did hide
What trouble her actions had bought!
When classes were due to begin
The students assumed they would win.
There’d be no detention
For by school convention
That bell was the cue to come in.
The students let out a loud cheer
And some of them opened a beer,
For outside of school
And its no-drinking rule
They had no spankings to fear.
Two teachers had gone for a drink
Oh what would their students think!
When staff, too, were tardy
And perhaps foolhardy
As they from their duties did shrink.
When word of this reached the headmaster
He found one young lady and asked her
To return the school bell
Or she he’d expel
To avert any further disaster.
The young lady wisely kept mum;
The poor girl did fear for her bum!
The swish of the cane
Would lead to much pain
Regardless of the outcome.
The headmaster growled in frustration;
Late teachers were put on probation.
The students were told
To not be so bold
And that bell-theft did not mean vacation.
When he took up a cane in his fist
The students knew he, too, was pissed,
Though not from the sauce
But from the bell’s loss
And all were now on his hit list!
Written for the CLASS Ireland Limerick Virtual Event