For Whom the Bell Tolls

There once was a bright brass school bell

Whose clang could raise demons from hell.

At the sound of its chime

Classes started on time

On late students no others would tell.

 

But one day a bright student thought

And prayed that she would not get get caught

With a glance to the side

That bell she did hide

What trouble her actions had bought!

 

When classes were due to begin

The students assumed they would win.

There’d be no detention

For by school convention

That bell was the cue to come in.

 

The students let out a loud cheer

And some of them opened a beer,

For outside of school

And its no-drinking rule

They had no spankings to fear.

 

Two teachers had gone for a drink

Oh what would their students think!

When staff, too, were tardy

And perhaps foolhardy

As they from their duties did shrink.

 

When word of this reached the headmaster

He found one young lady and asked her

To return the school bell

Or she he’d expel

To avert any further disaster.

 

The young lady wisely kept mum;

The poor girl did fear for her bum!

The swish of the cane

Would lead to much pain

Regardless of the outcome.

 

The headmaster growled in frustration;

Late teachers were put on probation.

The students were told

To not be so bold

And that bell-theft did not mean vacation.

 

When he took up a cane in his fist

The students knew he, too, was pissed,

Though not from the sauce

But from the bell’s loss

And all were now on his hit list!

 

Written for the CLASS Ireland Limerick Virtual Event