Each day in September, I will be posting a question about submission, along with two responses- the first written five years ago and the second from today. I welcome all who wish to join in this exercise to post your own answers in the comments, adjusting the question if necessary to suit your own roles and sensibilities.
Is spanking or corporal punishment a part of your submission? Why or why not?
Yes. This is one of the things that is key for me.
Pain is a good teacher, at least for me. Aikido comes to mind, as does a certain friend. It’s a quick and efficient way to draw me back into line. I like efficiency.
I don’t know where this fascination with spanking comes from, as it isn’t something I have direct experience with. My reaction to the slightest reference is very powerful, and I know this is something that I want.
I’ve experienced bits and pieces- the scolding, some form of punishment, using pain for punishment, but never all put together or including spanking. Why I want this and how I’m so sure is a mystery to me.
I’m thinking it is strange that although I have a stronger aversion to spanking references in everyday life than sex references, I will happily read spanking blogs on my own, but avoid anything sexual. Why am I not comfortable with sexual content? Something to contemplate later. . .
I know that I want punishment within a loving relationship, but am still somewhat baffled as to why. Your eloquence reassures me that wanting this is can be a beautiful thing.
Yes, absolutely, still. The scenes with punitive overtones have been some of the most powerful for me, be they actual punishments, role play, or simply an atmosphere that brings me into that headspace for unspoken reasons.
I had thought at first that I was only interested in “proper” punishment, requiring a caring partner who knows me well, a harsh spanking, scolding, learning, change, strictness and love. However, I have been surprised at how only a few punishment-like elements can put me in that frame of mind. I’ve had great catharsis being punished for imagined or unspecified offenses. I’ve submitted readily to punishment from near-strangers in group role play scenes- an arrangement both more fun and more satisfying than I could have imagined. I’ve felt true sorrow, true regret, and have made changes to my behaviour following a self-spanking prescribed by a long-distance mentor.
To have the courage to point out my faults and to administer correction in such an invasive manner is, to me, a deep expression of love. To admit that I have failed and to truly accept the consequences specified by a dominant partner is the purest form of my submission.