Each day in September, I will be posting a question about submission, along with two responses- the first written five years ago and the second from today. I welcome all who wish to join in this exercise to post your own answers in the comments, adjusting the question if necessary to suit your own roles and sensibilities.
Does any element of BDSM occur as a part of your submissive relationships? How do you feel about BDSM? Is it core to your submission, peripheral or non-existent (other than the submission part)?
I don’t really understand the appeal of many BDSM practices either. My submission is more mental, and while there’s definitely a power dynamic, at the core I want to submit to an equal rather than a master. However, if my partner found meaning in some type of BDSM practice, I’d be willing to try it. What may seem silly on its own can become very deeply symbolic within the context of a relationship.
I think it says a lot about the changes in my thinking that I’ve been exploring other aspects of BDSM not with a romantic partner but in the company of friends and acquaintances. The introduction has (by and large) not occurred in the bedroom but in workshops and other semi-public events. I doubt any of this would have happened if not for the prodding by a few very good friends – thanks to Carys, Akheilos, Lektro, and RespectYourself for the warm welcome, support, and encouragement! My first weekend at Chateau Corrupto was quite an eye-opener.
Turns out, being tied up, dribbled with wax, and zapped in various ways can be quite fun. (not all at once- though maybe. . . .). I’m not sure if I’d call this part of my submission- more of a hobby. Submissive feelings sometimes arise, but it’s more about exploration, sensation and connection with the partner(s) involved.